8 Reasons Why You Should Wait Until Your Colorado Divorce is Final to Start Dating
By Mitch Tacy Fort Collins Family Law Attorney & Mediator and Dorian Ryan
You have made the decision to get divorced and have started to think of the single life ahead of you. You may even consider yourself available now. Before you sign up for one of the many on-line dating sites, stop and read just 8 of the many reasons why dating before receiving a final divorce decree is a bad idea.
1) The number one reason for not dating before your divorce is final is your kids. The breakup of a family is devastating to kids of all ages. Even if you think your kids are fine you dating, they are not. Your children need extra love and attention now. Spend quality time “dating” your kids. Get to know your kids better and let them enjoy spending time with you alone, before they have to share you with someone new. Before you do anything ask yourself, “Is this in the best interest of my child?”
2) You are getting a divorce. Contemplate what went wrong with your marriage. It may be beneficial to your future relationships to spend the stressful weeks and months ahead of you (going through the Colorado divorce process and learning to be a great co-parent) working with a family counselor. The chances of carrying your divorce baggage on a date and into your next relationship are high. You can find a choice of several Fort Collins area therapists at www.tacylaw.com/family therapists.
3) You owe it to the people in your life who have stood by you throughout your divorce (coworkers, friends and family). Repay the kindness they showed you while they patiently listened to you talk about your divorce for months (maybe even years). Plan fun outings with your friends or reconnect with old friends.
4) Do it for your soon to be Ex. At one time you loved this person. Show them the courtesy of waiting until you are no longer married to them before you begin dating (even if they have not extended the same courtesy to you).
5) When your spouse finds out that you are dating it may drastically change the course of your friendly Colorado divorce proceedings. You are negotiating debt, assets and parenting time. You should be on your best behavior and not anger someone you are negotiating with.
6) Let’s say you do date. You immediately fall in love (it happens, since it has been a while since you felt so good).You are now in a committed relationship with this new person (you wanted it to be) and you wake up one day (shortly into it) and regret that you never got to be “single”.
7) This is your chance to develop new interests, make new friends and improve your mind body and spirit. You will be healthier, happier and become the kind of person you would like to attract.
8) It’s a different world being single today. Go to a dating after Colorado divorce class (this one is great, http://www.coloradocenterforlifechanges.com). Dating after being married for many years is like going into the ocean- it looks gorgeous and fun but underneath all kinds of scary things are lurking. You should know what to be looking out for before jumping back into the sea.
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