Conscious Uncoupling – What is it?
The term conscious uncoupling was in the media earlier this year when celebrity Gwyneth Paltrow and rocker Chris Martin announced their “conscious uncoupling” on goop.com. So many people went to the site to find out what conscious uncoupling is that the site temporarily crashed.
For most, the word “divorce” has many negative connotations. The new “higher conscious divorce” and “conscious parenting” movements puts a positive spin on divorce. On Goop.com the authors of Conscious Uncoupling, Dr. Habib Sadeghi & Dr. Sherry Sami get deep into evolution (think endoskeleton) and their belief that due to our new long life span and the high rate of divorce that people were not meant to be together for decades. Here is an excerpt from the article on Conscious Uncoupling
From this perspective, there are no bad guys, just two people, each playing teacher and student respectively. When we understand that both are actually partners in each other’s spiritual progress, animosity dissolves much quicker and a new paradigm for conscious uncoupling emerges, replacing the traditional, contentious divorce. It’s only under these circumstances that loving co-parenting can happen. It’s conscious uncoupling that prevents families from being broken by divorce and creates expanded families that continue to function in a healthy way outside of traditional marriage.
By choosing to handle your uncoupling in a conscious way, regardless of what’s happening with your spouse, you’ll see that although it looks like everything is coming apart; it’s actually all coming back together.
Divorce can be the worst thing that ever happened to you or it can be an opportunity to start understanding yourself and what you need to do to heal psychological wounds from the past and work toward the beautiful life you want and deserve. Working with a marriage and family counselor or therapist can help you let go of blame and resentment, help you take responsibility for your part in the “uncoupling”, help you understand what you can learn from the experience to make you a better parent and partner in the future.
Back in the day ‘70’s a very popular book was “I’m Okay Your Okay” which is still recommended as tool to help you better co-parent by local Child and Family Investigator Kathy Lees. It’s the same basic concept as Conscious Uncoupling without the biology. With this major life event you need all the help you can get to minimize the financial and emotional costs of a bitter divorce battle. Now is the time to read all you can to avoid the many pitfalls in the process.
Northern Colorado is home to a large number of Marriage and Family Therapists. CSU has a nationally renowned program and many graduates stay in Colorado after graduating so we have the benefit of literally hundreds of choices in therapists. If the first one you see is not a fit go down the list until you find one who you are comfortable with, many will offer an initial free consultation.
Working with a therapist can also help you set down rules for the new normal of co-parenting. They have the experience to help you determine what is in the best interest of the child(ren) to minimize the emotional turmoil involved in co-parenting before during and after your divorce. Don’t you owe it your kids to learn from the local experts here how to take a negative experience and make it positive for everyone’s future? Take your time and when ready to make it legal Mitch Tacy Family Law Attorney & Mediator is here for you. Contact us for a free consultation.
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